Good things

1. I took the day off after several weeks of no break. I’m learning–albeit slowly–to set boundaries.
2. I have a good friend who has been willing to wake up at 5am to take my engagement photos for my fiancé and me.
3. I sat looking at old memories with my fiancé via Facebook. (yay, FB isn’t always evil)
4. The weather has been perfect this past week. Not too hot, not too cold.
5. We had a fun conversation with the doctor at urgent care. I love it when doctors take time out to be real people with their patients.
6. We made the decision to not change our wedding date, thus not rushing things.
7. I feel like we have 2 great options for next year: The River church and The Way church.

Traditions

Family dinner…even when family is just the 2 of us. This should include setting the table (including flowers/candles/napkins), electronics away, examen (highs and lows), and maybe finishing with common prayer and clearing the table.

I value regularity in being known. It’s more important than any deadline, text, or event.

 

The table is one of the most intimate and sacred places in our lives. It is there that we give ourselves to one another…We invite our friends to become a part of our lives. We want them to be nurtured by the same food and drink that nurture us. We desire communion. 

But I hate planning.

I’m a teacher…

I’m a leader…

I’m in a committed relationship…

One day I hope to have kids…

When I have my own family, I’d like to establish rich family traditions…

 

…but I HATE planning. 

Okay, maybe that’s not completely true. I do have a deep love for office supplies and an unhealthy obsession with what makes a “perfect” planner. But on a Wednesday evening, when the lesson for tomorrow hasn’t been planned, my fiance’s birthday didn’t go anything like I planned (i.e. restaurant closed, she gets sick, we have an argument), and now I’m up at 12am caring for this swollen-tongued and rather beautiful girl–I feel a deep hatred in my soul for the concept of planning.

Planning more often than not leaves me feeling like a failure. All too often, plans change or fall through. And what’s more? There never seems to be enough time to plan, reflect AND actually do things. 

I’ve planned so many educational units. I’ve attempted to plan so well that students who don’t want to learn not only learn, but leave my class thirsting for knowledge. I’ve succeeded sometimes, even. But for some reason the success feels like nothing in comparison to the overwhelming failure.

Then again, sometimes I think it’s not planning that I hate. It’s the expectation that I buy into (that my culture helps perpetuate)–the expectation that we can be and have it all.
I can be father, life-changing teacher, lover, friend, son, advocate, well-rested, well-educated, fit, financially secure, generous–and still have time to read books for fun and be up to date on the news.

It’s simply untrue. And it’s time to prioritize.